Contemplation and Balance

Finding balance.  What we all seem to struggle with in these hectic days.  I think of parents trying to manage busy families and jobs and I'm in awe.  I don't know if it is just because I'm getting older and embarking on a new life, but balance has been a difficult one for me in this last year.

Because I work from home mostly, I find that I get pulled onto the dance-floor of life very easily which takes me away from all the real work I should be doing.  The phone rings, the laundry is there, the dust beckons to me, the dog excitedly reminds me she wants to walk. 

Publishing my own book was a massive project and putting every ounce of creative energy into it for 9 months created a huge sigh of relief when it was finally in my hand back from the printer.  It was very stressful for me, working out the final details, and I think once it was done - I just let go. 

I have always thought of myself as a pretty healthy individual although during the creation of the book I definitely wasn't walking much, breathing fresh air much, or visiting with friends, or eating well.  Heavens, I live on a lake and I couldn't force myself to leave the studio to take a dip on some of those lucious hot days.  I just worked and worked and worked. 

Finally though it caught up with me and I got very ill.  In fact, three times in the last three months!  Never before has this ever happened to me, in fact I was always the one who never took the flu shot and never got the flu.  Even when I was working with sick patients as an RN.
In the not too distant past I simultaneously went back to school and got my Bachelor's degree, ran a multi-million dollar facility and staff, and managed the remodel of our home without as much as a sniffle.  I guess things are different now. 

The result is that these illnesses have been a wake-up call and I realize the status quo will no longer take me where I need to go.  I've found that the stray dog we adopted, who demands my attention for walks, has actually been a gift.  She and I get outside every morning for a long brisk walk, regardless of the weather.

While I was sick I also lost my appetite for two things: alcohol and coffee.  These are two things that were a big part of my daily life for many years.  Morning coffee is now substituted with tea and evening wine - well I just drink a lot of water now.

I find tea to be an inspiring drink and it has a different sensibility than coffee.  To enjoy the experience even more I've brought out some old teapots that my grandmother gave me years ago and I feel her spiritual blessing as I begin my day.  While drinking my morning tea, I am writing again - every day.  It helps clear out the cobwebs of fear based thoughts and often I move quickly towards gratitude I have for life.  I flow into inspiration and the words just stream onto the page.

I also meditate.  The meditation isn't new and it's an important part of my day and I am renewed in my commitment to the peace and joy that it brings. 

My day is now beginning with such enthusiasm I feel ready to dive right into what the universe brings to the table. I am ready to embark on the creative journey again - refreshed.  Balance is being restored and I realize that my body tells me that my old ways will no longer be effective for this new creative life I want to live.  I must listen, and in my desire to live boldly I know that every moment is asking me to choose. Peace, health, and creativity demand I make the better choice.